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Glitter. It’s like rainbow-colored asbestos, and it’s mostly unregulated and just as deadly. If not physically, then spiritually. People toss it about at events prefer it’s NBD, use it willy-fricking-nilly to decorate cards and costumes, and up until just a few days ago you would actually send your enemies prepackaged envelopes filled with the gaudy garbage. What do people see in this mismatched miscellanea of mischief? It’s take pleasure inable for only the 5 seconds that it’s suspended in the air, when it looks a little bit like nuclear fission however not the deadly kind.

As for the invention of recent glitter, now we have the American machinist and cattle farmer Henry Ruschmann to thank (or hate, depending in your stance on glitter). Would it shock you that glitter is a product of the Industrial-Navy complex?! Who called it? In 1934, the world was a bit of busy partaking in a wee skirmish called WWII, and consequently all German glass glitter imports had been halted. Ruschmann was searching for a technique to compress old garbage in landfills, and accidentally came up with glitter within the process. He collected scrap plastic materials from dumps and refined it into the magical pixie mud we shower on newborns and clog their pores with.

It is very important remember that glitter was once recycled trash. Trash. Used plastic bottles, used doggy poo bags, used junk. That is what you are sprinkling in your congressmen, your children, and even yourself. Have a bit of dignity. Step up your life.

The stuff is so terrible that after Ruschmann’s accidental invention, the Allied forces really considered actually glitter-bombing Germany to thwart their progress. How’s that for a party? Glitter everywhere. But they finally decided towards the tactic because the Germans may have easily replicated it, and hit different international locations with the fabulous firepower. This teaches us that glitter has no practical purpose, only to further the useless pursuit of glamor.

Nowadays, glitter makes its presence seen and felt on far too many events “” events, red carpet occasions, makeups, in clothing. Because the New York Magazine explained, David Bowie streaked his gorgeous face and marred it with the orange lightning bolt back in the 70s. Heavy-metal rock `n’ rollers like Motley Crue and Poison totally undermined their image by infusing glitter into their getups. It even weaseled its method into the holiest of holies: alcohol. Goldschlager and Gold Flakes Supreme vodka contained it. It is in all places!

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